Puppy Playwright Gifts

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

Talking Dog.

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

"Timmy, your dog looks just like he does in your drawings."

'To woof or not to woof...'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

He Did It!

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'Fallllling in heeeeeat agaaaaain

Cookie Thief

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

Pavlov's Dream.

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"You destination is around the next curve."

Hang Time Fido

"How's tricks?"

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."