Pet Owner Dramatist Gifts

"I laid new sod on my front lawn and a German Shepherd pooped on it. Then his dog showed up."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

When Pugs dream.

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Bad Dog

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"I'm retired now"