Pet Owner Comedy Gifts

Prescription Diet

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

When Pugs dream.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

Parrot annoying dog.

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

Polly want a cracker?

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

"Let's see, who had the canary?"

Cattery and kennels

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"I have a large kitty. He's gentle, just don't make any sudden moves."

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"I'm retired now"

'Daddy,rusty's digging up the neighbour's back yard again!' (a dog digging a hole with an earth digger machine)/