Pet Owner Who Loves Absurd Comedy Gifts

101 uses of a dead cat: floatation devices.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

Pet Entertainers

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

The Karate Kitten.

Cat at Surprise Party.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Parrot annoying dog.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"