Pet Owner's Humor Gifts

'I'm sorry Roland, I'm starving and I'll have to have to eat you...sniff. Roland would have loved those bones.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Cat at Surprise Party.

The Karate Kitten.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"