Pet Owner's Humor Gifts

'I'm sorry Roland, I'm starving and I'll have to have to eat you...sniff. Roland would have loved those bones.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

Cat at Surprise Party.

The Karate Kitten.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'