Pet Owner With Humor Gifts

'Hello - I think I've found your lost dog...'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad dog!"

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

When Pugs dream.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Parrot annoying dog.

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

Polly want a cracker?

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."