Pet Owner With Humor Gifts

'Hello - I think I've found your lost dog...'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Cat at Surprise Party.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"Bad dog!"

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Parrot annoying dog.

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

When Pugs dream.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

Polly want a cracker?

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."