Pet Enthusiast With Humor Gifts

'The parrot died so I got a cage-fighter.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Pet Entertainers

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

The Karate Kitten.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"He ran out of pee."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

When Pugs dream.

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"I, for one, refuse to just sit at the door pining for his return."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

Balding dog

"He's been this way ever since we ran out of liver treats."