Pet Enthusiast With Humor Pillows

'The parrot died so I got a cage-fighter.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Pet Entertainers

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

The Karate Kitten.

"He ran out of pee."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

When Pugs dream.

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"I, for one, refuse to just sit at the door pining for his return."

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

Balding dog

"He's been this way ever since we ran out of liver treats."

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'