Pet Owner Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I really like you, but your cat is freaking me out."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Pet Entertainers

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

Doggy conductor

Cat at Surprise Party.

The Karate Kitten.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"