Humor-loving Pet Owner Gifts

Dog with crutch.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

The First Cone of Shame.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

Doggy conductor

The Karate Kitten.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"Anatomy of a cat"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

When Pugs dream.

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"