Pet Owner Humor Gifts

"I have a large kitty. He's gentle, just don't make any sudden moves."

Polly want a cracker?

Cat at Surprise Party.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Hey Jerry! How's that pet snake of yours?" (Man carrying long, thin coffin).

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

Jobless because my cat has learned how to open food cans...

Cattery and kennels

"Ooops...I'm afraid I slobbered on it and then buried it in the backyard!"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Do you ever wish you could get a nice tan?'

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"For God's sake Dennis, that was the budgie!"

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

'No, I'm plotting.'

Parrot annoying dog.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"Let's see, who had the canary?"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"