Dog Owner Humor Gifts

Something nasty afoot.

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"We got custody of the Cat."

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Skeleton playing fetch.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Shake! Good Dog."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Dog wearing a cone

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Cat at Surprise Party.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad dog!"

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

Parrot annoying dog.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'