Dog Lover's Humor Gifts

'He must be the next-of-Tin.'

'There's a fly in my soup.'

'There's a fabled place up north called,'Everglades', that's surrounded by a zillion yappy dogs.'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"I was almost that last year."

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Dog wearing a cone

Dog on a Shelf.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Balloon dog training

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Get a life."

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'