Dog Humor Lover Gifts

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

Don't even think about it!

Dog drinking 'water with a hint of toilet limescale.'

"Same thing every year, I tell Santa I want my balls back, and I get a freaking stuffed animal."

Dog water fountain.

'I've got a better idea - let's let her choose between us and then I'll quietly leave.'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"I was almost that last year."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Dog on a Shelf.

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Balloon dog training

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'Scary movie?'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

Hog Futures

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'