Dog-loving Humor Gifts

"I ran out of masks and the dog didn't need this anymore, so. . ."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog wearing a cone

Dog on a Shelf.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Balloon dog training

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

Dog Training.

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

"Get a life."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'Tell me this isn't celery.'

"And have various, random strangers scratch behind your ears four times daily."

"Don't make me beg."