Pet Lover Humorist Gifts

I'm in a hurry. Got any "Sorry I crapped on your carpet" cards?

'They fight like you know what.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Cats at private view

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Clown walks balloon dog

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Doggy conductor

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

The Karate Kitten.