Humorous Pet Lover Gifts

Man's Best Friend: Love and Food

"I'm sure he does bring you your slippers and your morning paper, but that still doesn't make him a service dog."

'Now, we can't guarantee that this kind of brain surgery will change his disposition.'

'My advice is keep away from it. You start with catnip and before you know it, you're on heroin.'

"Look, it's very simple.Dog food for dogs. Cat food for cats. And lobster for Julius."

To maximize energy efficiency, Elwood's owners install a doggie window instead of a doggie door.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Pet Entertainers

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

The First Cone of Shame.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"He ran out of pee."

Dog Calenders.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."