Pet Humorists Gifts

Cat laughing at dog having to go outside in the rain to go to the toilet.

Teaching the cat to use the bathroom instead of the litter box proved to be a mistake.

What if pets did housework...

Beware of dogs breath.

Well, the cat guide says, 'If your cat brings home a dead animal, consider it a gift of love - he's 'feeding' you.' Hmph... Nothing in here about a salad, though...

"He spoke his first unrepeatable word."

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Sorry Dear, until they put mice into tins you'll have to make do with chicken.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'They're flea bargaining.'

'You'll be happy to know I gave your dog self-help book to someone who'll know how to put it to good use. . . the garbage guy!'

'Fluffy's biological clock went off today.'

'Chewing bones? Hunting cats? Biting mailmen? C'mon, kid! Time to see the really important things in life!'

'Yeah, well, my guy idolizes me so much that he collects my poop in a bag and takes it home with him.'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

'I said ‘youth,' not ‘euth'! I said, This dog is for a youth!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."