Pet Comedians Gifts

'How are your anger management classes going?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Obedience School Graduation

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

His Master's Thesis.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'