Pet Comedy Gifts

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Obedience School Graduation

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

His Master's Thesis.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"