Pets Humor Gifts

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Cats at private view

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

The First Cone of Shame.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee