Pet-related Humor Gifts

The poop scooper maid.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Dog wearing a cone

Pet Entertainers

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

The First Cone of Shame.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

Doggy conductor

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

The Karate Kitten.

Cat at Surprise Party.

Cat Gets Hole in One.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."