Pet-related Humor Pillows

The poop scooper maid.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Dog wearing a cone

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Doggy conductor

Cat at Surprise Party.

The Karate Kitten.

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Cat Gets Hole in One.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."