Pet Humor Lovers Pillows

Happy Home Kennels - No Unauthorised Barking.

'Single male, seeks serious relationship with female... preferably spayed.'

'He has an invisible fence so he has to wear a flee collar.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'This is the last time I take the dog out for a walk!'

'Because that's what tomcats do... they go out at night.'

'Go figure: All year round, I have to guard the house, but tonight, I have to let a fat old guy in a red suit come in...'

'Why shouldn't he howl? It's his violin.'

Keep off the Grass.

'Sorry, I'm to tired to walk you today.'

"And I suppose you think yours dosen't stink?"

"Will there be trees?"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Tinder for dogs

"Oh yes, my young master has changed too! He's now dressed in black all the time an he wears my old collars..."

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Pet Entertainers

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'