Pet Humor Fans Pillows

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

"Yes, you've caught me at a bad time!!"

'He's a good watchdog,but not particularly good with children.'

"It's for people who don't want a dog, but don't want house guests either."

"I don't like tattoos on men, unless it's an 'N' inside his ear...means he's neutered."

I care because I don't.

Free kittens.

101 uses of a dead cat: bellows.

'The disdainful glances, the withering stares... I'm not tough enough to live with Siamese cats!'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

'Actually, I'm a lap dog.'

Lady to man with many birds: 'You would have to buy a mimic!'

"Alternative lifestyle."

"I'll vote for anyone who isn't a dog."

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Pet Entertainers

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."