Pet Humor Fans Pillows

"I found this under your litter box. Just when were you planning to put this into effect?"

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

"Yes, you've caught me at a bad time!!"

'He's a good watchdog,but not particularly good with children.'

"It's for people who don't want a dog, but don't want house guests either."

"I don't like tattoos on men, unless it's an 'N' inside his ear...means he's neutered."

I care because I don't.

Free kittens.

101 uses of a dead cat: bellows.

'The disdainful glances, the withering stares... I'm not tough enough to live with Siamese cats!'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

'Actually, I'm a lap dog.'

Lady to man with many birds: 'You would have to buy a mimic!'

"Alternative lifestyle."

"I'll vote for anyone who isn't a dog."

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Pet Entertainers

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'