Anyone Who Loves Pet Humor Pillows

'It's alright for you, you always land on your feet!'

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"Are those my slippers?!"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'No need to shout.'

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"