Humor In Pets Gifts

'We thought we'd get a 'character' dog!'

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Pet Entertainers

The First Cone of Shame.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

Doggy conductor

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

Cat Gets Hole in One.

'No need to shout.'

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"Anatomy of a cat"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'