Humor In Pets Gifts

'We thought we'd get a 'character' dog!'

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

'Ben has a new fishing technique - he calls it 'Fish Hawk'.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Doggy conductor

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Cat Gets Hole in One.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"