Pet Behavior Humor Gifts

"You treat me like a dog."

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Dog wearing a cone

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

The First Cone of Shame.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Doggy conductor

Cat at Surprise Party.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'No need to shout.'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'