Pet Comedy Fan Gifts

Cat Chores

"What part of 'Caw' can't you understand?"

"The parrot last week told the same joke."

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

The First Cone of Shame.

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Dog traps the postman.

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Dog Calenders.

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."