Dog Comedy Fan Gifts

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

'Trouble is he can't hear any whistling with that plugged in.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Pet Entertainers

Dog traps the postman.

Balloon dog training

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

When Dogs Rule

Dog Training.

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"He ran out of pee."

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

"Bruno, sit."

Dog Realtor

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

"I didn't want him growing up to be like his father."

Prodigy - Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"Get a life."

'I know it's your bed, but she's our guest. Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to sleep on the couch.'

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

"The love is unconditional after you agree to the terms and conditions."

Dog makes cats float with helium.

Cat Chores

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

"He's a bird-dog."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'