Animal Comedy Fan Gifts

"He's a bird-dog."

'We couldn't find a donor heart, so we implanted 13 chipmunk hearts.'

Penguin reading book entitled, 'Fear of Flying'.

Fastest slowest animal

'If there's one thing I find really boring , it's synchronized penquin swimming'.

'You can't hurt his feelings ? at least pretend to eat it.'

A cat not getting its sleeve wet...

"These stupid seeds are frozen!" "I can't feel my hooves..." "Our little drinking pond is now a hockey rink! We're doomed!!" "Proof that animals hate winter."

"I'm sure he feels more Christmassy already!"

Hello peepths

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Career options for fleas were limited.

Dog traps the postman.

School for the blind bus being driven by a guide dog.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

ACME Exterminators (cat being dragged into a mouse hole

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"

'I tried to take some money from the kitty like you said, but she wouldn't let me!'

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

'And what did you get me?'

"Well, if I had to guess -- I'd say it's undigested homework."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'Oh Hi!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Author does not do tricks."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.