Animal Humor Fan Gifts

'You're what we call 'high risk'.'

'Wendell, I'm home! How's that sore throat, sweetie? Feeling better?'

'This is one sick dog.'

'We are communicating better, but we are still not out of the woods.'

'I had to stop Yoga and Meditation: I was getting less and less aggressive...'

'Say, did you know that we actually only use a very small portion of our brain?'

"Still studying foreign languages?" "Moo?"

'You're not just a polar bear - you're a bi-polar bear.'

"I would not be opposed to a cat tax."

"I think your bluffing!"

"Stay cute, it's the only trick you'll ever need."

"He was born breech."

In the course of the evolution, Boa Constrictors found new hunting strategies.

'The next time you get captured by rabbits, you can pay your own ransom!'

'Whoa! All the blood rushed to my feet.'

"And now we just relax, settle down, and smother them until they crack."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Damn the Dam

"I'm totally bipartisan. I eat as many birds as I do mice."

'So you're saying you don't remember anything.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

(Hey! Great chops!)

Jeff's new computer came with the wrong kind of ram.

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

Pig asking whether the farmers truffles are 'Rum or Champagne?'

"I love it!"

Alligator drinking gator aid.

"And I put it to the jury, that it's instinctively natural for my client to occasionally, 'Go Ape!'"

Bull in china shop, "Err, I don't think you are quite right for the job."

'I'm sure you would be very good at it but we don't take geese.'

Cats celebrating birthday, cake is shaped like mouse

'I agree Mr Hare: It's worrying that you continue being rational over March...'

'This plug-in air freshner is useless! It still stinks in here.'

'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

'Of course it's been proven that warthogs are the sexiest creatures in the animal kingdom... I mean, I don't have the study with me, but, you know, look at me.'