Animal Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"You laughing at my mule?"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'Call me that one more time and you can find yourself another doctor!'

"Does anything die and become dessert?"

The dog isn't qualified so we'll only bill you his hours at half the usual rate...

"Oh great... here comes our crazy stalker again."

Graduating cats play with their mortar boards.

'There's nothing wrong with 'Cutie-Pie' Miss Timpson, but I think you may need glasses.'

"I don't like the look of this"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'My spit smells worse.'

Re-Tail.

See It As It Happens - The Conflict Resolution Seminar's Main Event.

'I stink therefore I am...!'

'Alcoholism is inevitable...It is well known that cats don't like water...'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'O.K. maybe I didn't cross the street to get to the other side. Help me, Doc. Why did I cross it?'

"It's the police dog again. He'd like to ask you a couple more questions."

Factory line cow giving into temptation

'We may fight like cats and dogs... but at least we don't sue.'

'I'm doing a google search to see if I can find someone to open the side door.'

'Check it out! These things are marshmallows.'

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'

"I stink, therefore I am."

"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"

'Catchy name, hey?' (Pony X-Press)

"Want to know why the last lot left?"

"Of course I'm sure it's a self-driving car. Talking dogs can't drive."

"He won't be looking so pleased in a minute!"

"I had no idea 'No Contest' is the equivelant of a guilty plea."

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

What do you take me for? I'm not feeding them - I'm poisoning them.

'I'm holding out for fifty bucks!'

Cow to other: 'One of us has to wear a bell if we want to be herd.'

'Gee, do you mind?! Hot air travels up, y'know.'