Animal Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'Call me that one more time and you can find yourself another doctor!'

"Does anything die and become dessert?"

"Oh great... here comes our crazy stalker again."

The dog isn't qualified so we'll only bill you his hours at half the usual rate...

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'There's nothing wrong with 'Cutie-Pie' Miss Timpson, but I think you may need glasses.'

"I don't like the look of this"

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'Alcoholism is inevitable...It is well known that cats don't like water...'

Factory line cow giving into temptation

See It As It Happens - The Conflict Resolution Seminar's Main Event.

'I stink therefore I am...!'

'My spit smells worse.'

"It's the police dog again. He'd like to ask you a couple more questions."

'We may fight like cats and dogs... but at least we don't sue.'

'O.K. maybe I didn't cross the street to get to the other side. Help me, Doc. Why did I cross it?'

'I think I see what is causing that ringing in his ears.'

"He won't be looking so pleased in a minute!"

"I had no idea 'No Contest' is the equivelant of a guilty plea."

'I'm holding out for fifty bucks!'

"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"

Wing-Wing! Chicken disturbed by phone.

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

Hamster Gym

"It's just a matter of time before they give it to us."

'Sorry Sir, you know the rules: 'Pigs can't fly'...'

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'

Cow to other: 'One of us has to wear a bell if we want to be herd.'

"Of course I'm sure it's a self-driving car. Talking dogs can't drive."

'Gee, do you mind?! Hot air travels up, y'know.'

Cube of disappointment

What do you take me for? I'm not feeding them - I'm poisoning them.

"I think we should call for backup!"

"Want to know why the last lot left?"