Animal Humor Buff Gifts

"Granted it's not much of a superpower. But the flies seem to like it."

Back down.

"Well, I'm sorry if you misheard me, dad, but he's not a monk -- he's a monkey. an he's anything but celibate."

"To the right, stupid. . . to the right!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Do me next."

Faster, Georges, faster!

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Lactose Intolerant

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Hats and Food

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cat and mouse

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Author does not do tricks."

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'