Animal Humor Lovers Gifts

'When I asked for funding of my rooster egg laying research, I was told the chick is in the male.'

'yes, up every day at dawn, but there was a shameful time as a teenager when I used to sleep in until noon sometimes...'

"Never sell life insurance to lemmings."

"I always let them run around for a bit after the execution!"

I shouldn't have eaten the whole hamster wheel. My stomach's been churning all morning.

"Please, Frank! Stop making such a duck face!"

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

'Listen, If fur coats really kept the cold out how come cats always sit in front of the fire?'

"Perhaps, that will teach you not to wake the tortoise too early!"

'You say, 'his tentacles haven't come down'?'

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!

'Must say my cat's a bit of a disappointment...'

The why-the-long-face gag falls short.

'They're offering $5 billion for our engineering division? How much would that be in herring?'

Bird trying to catch a worm.

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow slip

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

"Frankly, I was fed up with walking barefoot in muck all the time..."

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Do me next."

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Author does not do tricks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Snowmobull