Lover Of Animal Humor Gifts

"Well, ungrateful human patients SUE their doctors. Mine just kick and bite!"

"Bark like nobody's listening."

"Know what I miss? I miss using my instincts."

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Author does not do tricks."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

The americanisation of vulture.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

Penguin

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."