Animal Humor Fans Gifts

'I fold!'

'My mother was a real bitch!'

'I think you're confusing self-loathing with lactose intolerance.'

Bull in field lurking behind tree waiting to ambush ramblers.

'For the last time, Duane, I'm just not in the mood, alright?'

'We object to the term 'snail mail'.'

'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

'I made you a layer cake.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

"I don't like roughing it..."

'Watch out, Dave. He's got a knife!'

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

"Excuse me, did I just hear somebody say 'This is the night of the deer savior's birth'?"

"The homework here is delicious!"

'The day has come.'

'This looks like trouble.'

"I don't know anything about the Stockholm syndrome. I just think he's cute."

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"Here you can see the luxurious master bathroom."

"Yeah, I've won lots of races, but I'm still poor: I've always been too self-conscious to bet on myself..."

"The guests on the other table Sir? Newlyweds, on their Honeymoo."

Can-Can Dancer

"I need shoes in size 11. I mean size 11 in the width, not in the length."

'It's a great system, but on windy days, I'm often blown off course...'

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

'You're a free range chicken? -- That sounds so romantic!'

'It'll be ready Tuesday.'

She's gone, my doggy's gone, I don't know where she is...I only know my life's a mess, because of that dumb cat...

'Well, we're still tweaking a few bugs in our online ordering service...'

'Do we accept smelly bacon bones as payment?'

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

Hey fellas! We have a clinger!

Cat buying insurance: 'What the hell do you mean that'll be 9 premiums a year?'

'You two take advantage of him.'