Animal Humour Fan Gifts

'The sign wasn't big enough for 'Police Dog'!'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Author does not do tricks."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

The americanisation of vulture.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Penguin

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."