Animal Humour Enthusiasts Gifts

Nudist Tortoise

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Author does not do tricks."

'Oh Hi!'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'