Animal Joke Fan Gifts

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

Psst … How can you tell the twins apart? They smell identical!

Occidental

'The Zoo just ain't what it used to be!'

What time is it Mr. Wolf? Like I haven't heard that one before!

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Oh Hi!'

"Author does not do tricks."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

The americanisation of vulture.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Penguin

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'