Animal Joke Lover Gifts

'When you said you had a small herd, I thought...'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Rogue elephant

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'Scary movie?'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

Swine flu

Hog Futures

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

I've been doing sit-ups!

'I've been sentenced to five weeks while they go on holidays... What about you guys?'

'He has high blood pressure. You'll have to keep him in a salt substitute, water tank.'