Animal Jokes Fan Gifts

'Do you know what you call a cat that swallowed a duck?'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Author does not do tricks."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Penguin

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'