Animal Jokes Fan Gifts

'Do you know what you call a cat that swallowed a duck?'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Author does not do tricks."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Oh Hi!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The americanisation of vulture.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

Penguin

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.