Animal Comedy Lover Gifts

"We've been wearing our jackets wrong all these years."

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

Those are alligator tears, Al. What's the difference between crocodile tears and alligator tears? Crocodile tears are insincere. Alligator tears are sincere, but alligators are whining crybabies.

'The last thing I knew he was on a plane to an obedience school in Omaha!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

"Hello, Acme Pest Control?"

"I think I've reached puberty Dad: My laugh is starting to be really deep!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Faster, Georges, faster!

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"I'm working from home today."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

The americanisation of vulture.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'Oh Hi!'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Author does not do tricks."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Dog in love

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."