Animal Lover Comedy Gifts

'He's still rushing his backswing. ... Swat him on the nose with the rolled-up newspaper...'

Faster, Georges, faster!

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"I'm working from home today."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Dog in love

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Dog traps the postman.

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'Scary movie?'

Pampered Pets.

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'I refuse to believe that Winkie was a terrorist.'

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

Hog Futures

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Fowl!'

Working from Home

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."