Canine Comedy Fan Gifts

Dog Realtor

'Flossing?'

'Watch your step in there!'

"Didn't I tell you that if you kept sticking your head out the car window it would stay like that?"

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

'Why's he digging up these flowers?'

"I hate tailgaters..."

The Woof man

"I didn't want him growing up to be like his father."

"Close the blankety window - you're not a blankety dog!"

Pet Entertainers

'I would like you to please not tell people I'm a stalker!'

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

'So I decided, why not a REAL attack dog running mate?'

Jerry Springer Spaniel

'Stop it! Stop it! You're really hurting him!'

'Hey Bert, have you peed on the birthday card for Susan yet?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Dog on a Shelf.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Dog traps the postman.

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Balloon dog training

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

When Dogs Rule