Animal Comedians Gifts

It's resolution time!

"Boy, I have such a bad hangover! The guy I stung last night was drunk..."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Scuba cow"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Yes, one is a dog."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Hats and Food

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Obedience School Graduation

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

His Master's Thesis.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."