Pet Owner With A Comedic Flair Gifts

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"Bad dog!"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"You stop it, now!"

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Is our owner hot?"

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

When Pugs dream.

The Haunted Dog House

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

Bad Dog

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."