Pet Owner With A Comedic Flair Gifts

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"You stop it, now!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Bad dog!"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Is our owner hot?"

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

When Pugs dream.

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

The Haunted Dog House

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Bad Dog

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"