Pet Owner Who Loves Absurd Comedy Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: floatation devices.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

Cat at Surprise Party.

The Karate Kitten.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

Parrot annoying dog.

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins