Dog-loving Dramaturge Gifts

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

"Another slander suit!"

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Now that's art!"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Do you have to do that every time?'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"Out! Damned Spot!"

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

"Good boy."

I assume obedience class was a washout then.

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"

'You have the right to remain silent.'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

Audition For the Birds

'I bit them and ran!' 'While the Doberman was giving them trouble,I bolted!'

"I strongly suggest that you reinvent yourself!"

"How dare you say I am dogmatic!"

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

'Has that nasty dog been bothering you again...'

"Excuse me, but does it look like I have an extension on this scooper?"

'Well, I'm no expert, but my research would indicate you exhibit symptoms of being what is referred to colloquially as a 'jerk'.'

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there?? I wish!!

'Mum! Next door's puppy is over in our garden again!'

It's worse than you think - his tail's actually chasing him.